Sometimes life hands you something so wonderful it takes a while to digest. I believe this would happen more often, much more often, if we would believe, and I mean truly believe, that we are worth it, believe that we deserve it, and then open up to receive and fully allow it in.
I have huge news! I’m going on the TODAY show! September 5 at 9:00am ET.
I had a call with the producer Tuesday morning. I was so overwhelmed I didn’t know what to do. So, I went surfing. And then I went to a Soul Cycle class. (They just opened one in La Jolla.) I sat on a bike in the back of the room, my usual spot. And as the instructor screamed at us to push through our resistance, to peddle past it, to crash through our walls, as she reminded us that we are so much more powerful than we know, my mind flashed back to all the times in New York that I sat on a bike in the back of a Soul Cycle class, hidden in the dark, crying and screaming and sobbing because I was so broken. When the instructors told us to scream I would scream a scream of absolute anguish. When the instructors told us to close our eyes mine would stream with tears and my body would convulse with sobs. I had been so incredibly broken. So incredibly lost. So unsure of how I would ever be whole again; how I would ever regain my confidence, my sense of self, my sanity. Yet, here I was, five years later, in another Soul Cycle class, just two hours after being told my story was so compelling that the TODAY show wanted to interview me on live TV and send a camera crew to my house to film an intro.
After Soul Cycle I went to lunch by myself and took the rest of the day to just sit in the glow of what had happened and what was to come, just absorb it, just hold it in my heart without telling anyone, for just a little while. I knew that in order to be ready, I had to grow even more, and that holding all this wonderful news, allowing it to permeate my cells, would expand me. I realized that expansion is what we all yearn for. The exhilaration of soul growth. And I realized if I take the time to let each new wonderful piece of news truly penetrate me, truly swell and expand my heart, I will grow into the person who can handle what is coming.
After lunch I went back down to the beach. I stood in front of the ocean and thanked Eternity for all I’ve gone through and for the incredible magic that was unfolding around me. The ocean assured me I am big enough to handle this and that I do deserve it. We all are and we all do. This has been a long time coming. I guess, when you have very specific dreams, and when they are very big, it takes awhile for Divine Choreography to put all the people in place.
I could have given up. There were so many times I wanted to, so many chances along the way. So many times I almost listened to people who told me how hard it was to write a book or how impossible it was to find a publisher or how I would never make it as an author. There were so many times I was told my writing wasn’t grammatically correct or my story was too “out there” or my target audience was too narrow. I threw my manuscript in the trash multiple times. I almost quit over and over and over. But, my soul knew better. The quiet voice inside my heart told me I had to keep going. And for the first time in a very long time I actually listened. Life is truly magnificent; especially when we trust, when we don’t give up, when we listen to and follow our Inner Guidance, and then when we hang on and go for the ride.