Loving a Narcissist
Jan 09, 2019 by Renee Linnell

Seeking love from an addict or a narcissist is an example of this. Sometimes you get the reward: love, warmth, acceptance, encouragement. Most of the time, you do not. The fleeting moments in which the person is loving and kind are random and unpredictable, and the desire for reward becomes unquenchable because you constantly believe it could come again with the very next attempt. You peck until your beak bleeds, and then you peck some more.
The cure is self-love. You can still love the narcissist or addict, if you have to. You just have to love yourself more. Enough to know you deserve whole love. Real love. Balanced love. Love yourself enough to leave. So real love can find you. It’s scary at first, to be loved so much, to be loved so fully . . . especially when you are used to being with emotionally unavailable partners. But, life is so short. And you deserve it. We all do.
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