Bug Blog

Aug 13, 2018 by Renee Linnell
I was surfing this morning. Sitting way out from shore. And I noticed a tiny pincher bug clinging to my surfboard. A small wave lapped up at me and the bug moved to my thigh. I looked at him, so tiny and so far away from the beach, and I knew he was going to drown. I had a choice to make: put him on my bikini up near my neck and surf him to safety on the beach, or blatantly let him drown.

As I thought about this, I realized how far I have come. In the past I would have been unable to bare the thought of not trying to help him, unable to bare the thought of blatantly allowing him to drown. I would have put him on my bikini and let him pinch me all the way to shore. But, I have learned . . . to stop trying to save everyone and everything from the predicaments they get themselves into, to stop assuming they even need my help in the first place, and instead to simply focus my energy on creating the best version of myself, to put myself first, take care of myself first, to notice exactly who and what I am trying to save and not allow myself to be hurt in my effort to save others, to realize that often when I interfere with others by trying to save them I end up hurting myself and them. Disempowering them. Enabling them.

I looked at the bug and thought, you are going to pinch me repeatedly if I try to save you, and you will probably just end up getting crushed in the process . . .  “Sorry, Mister. Looks like you are  going to transition to Non-Physical,” I said to the bug as I made no effort to put him on my bikini. And then I caught a wave and surfed it all the way to the shore, pincher free.