Sep 10, 2019 by Renee Linnell
A magnificent male deer showed up in my yard. I was working in my office as he walked down the path between my trees. I stopped what I was doing, simply to watch him. He felt my gaze and turned around. Then he walked towards me. We made eye contact and I told him how much I love him. Instantly. Instant love. (Animals are direct portals to Source and they reflect through their eyes and their vibration all of that Pure Love.)

Once he knew I was a safe human, he came closer. Then he discovered a shady protected corner of my yard, directly outside my office window. He dug around a bit, my landscapers had put mulch there, and then he lay down to rest. I was in awe. This magnificent creature resting outside my window.

I had just given up on men, on finding “my man.” Ever since I can remember I have always believed there is a certain Being that incarnated to journey through this life with me. And every man I have ever dated has not been he. Leading me to always eventually feel that something was “off.” And once that off feeling got loud enough I could no longer pretend. It just wasn’t right, I could tell, and as soon as I knew it wasn’t right, it was time to go our separate ways.
Recently, I gave up. I decided I no longer wanted to be yearning for anything. I love my life; it is a great life. Everything I went through with that crazy cult and the wounding and damage, I went through to find peace, I went through to find joy. And I recently decided I have got to learn how to find joy now. In the present. Every day. Not when the book becomes a bestseller, not when I get the movie deal, not when this man arrives. Now. I have got to learn to find it now. Regardless of what I perceive to be missing.

“I’m done,” I said. “I’m just going to enjoy every sparkly, kind, honest, brave, fun, interesting, thriving man that crosses my path, regardless of age, regardless of if he crosses my path for a moment, or a day, or a week . . .  Men surround me and I’m going to just enjoy male energy in this way, with no attachment to how long each one stays.” 

And then . . .

And then this buck appeared. This magnificent buck. A perfect manifestation of the Divine Masculine. A symbol, I think. That I am never alone. That I already have all I need. That we are all always taken care of. A symbol that I don’t have to go looking. That magic, that abundance, that men, that my man will find me. 

This deer has been outside my window almost every day for close to two months. I have gotten to see him grow. He’s used to me now and puts his nose up against the window to interact with me. He gazes into my eyes. I always tell him how much I love him. And I feel him always respond with love of his own. Eventually I named him “Romeo” because everyone who sees him falls in love with him.

It’s amazing, I think, how just the presence of such a magical creature can change the vibration of everyone who sees him. That’s what love is. That’s what love does. We can do this, too, when we bring the best of ourselves to each moment. When we take the time to take care of our body, to dress well, to groom ourselves well, and to carry ourselves with confidence and ease. When we take the time to curate what’s in our mind and get rid of the crappy, complaining, mundane thoughts and instead to be satisfied and delighted with all life brings, when we radiate joy and kindness and love. Just seeing us in this state changes the vibration of those that do.

I sit in my office daily, knowing Romeo is dozing away outside. Feeling fortified by his presence. I mean, what a sentinel! And I notice landscapers and property managers and spa maintenance men walking by, in my yard and the yard next door. I worry each time, that they will scare him, that they will disturb him. But, they don’t notice him. It’s amazing! His energy is so quiet and his presence so still . . . they simply don’t see him. Some do, those who are awake. Those who do not have in headphones or are not stuck in their mind. 

Those that see him stand in awe. Their faces full of light. Their energy-body expanded. I can see it: the childlike wonder taking over. And they walk away changed. Uplifted. Calmed and filled with joy. Those that don’t notice him miss the gift entirely.

And I think: God is trying in every moment to surprise and delight us. If only we would slow down, open our eyes, still our mind, be here now, be truly present, and See.