Mar 18, 2019 by Renee Linnell
My Thoughts On Depression

This blog is for Ron in Pittsburg, who told me via email that he has struggled with depression for 45 years:

I struggle with depression, too. I think all sensitive souls do; maybe all humans. I feel like it is part of the human condition and that there is too much messaging out there that tells us we are supposed to be happy all the time, and that when we’re not there is something wrong with us.

But, how can we have the ups without the downs? How can we know hot without knowing cold? How can we know love and kindness without knowing fear, hate, and meanness? This is the land of opposites, the world of dichotomy. We are here to experience the ups and the downs. And, for those of us that are extra-sensitive, the ups are really really blissfully up and the downs are really really dreadfully down.

I have learned that meditation helps. By quieting my mind every morning for just 15 minutes, even just sitting and trying to, the sharp edges are removed. The downs still feel down, but I have the clarity of mind to realize they won’t last. I have the clarity of mind to know I always feel better eventually. Instead of fighting the depression or trying to think my way out of it, I have learned to hunker down and let it pass. Fortunately, I have created a life for myself where on my very down days I can stay home and not affect the world with my mood. I have learned if I have to go out or interact with others, if I put my head under hot water, scrub my hair in a long hot shower, some of the depression and mental demons get removed. I have learned coffee and chocolate and intense exercise also help. And I have learned that giving into the listlessness and allowing myself to get “nothing done” on really bad days helps me just nap or read or watch movies through them. Allowing myself to be depressed and realizing there is nothing wrong with me helps me embrace it and settle into it, and allows it to pass faster. I also believe, if you truly are an ultra-sensitive being, you will notice you have been allowed to create a life in which you can stay home when you are super depressed; the universe has provided for us, we are not forced to be out in the world as often as others.

So, what if depression isn’t that bad? What if we need it so we will stay home? What if we need it so we will self-nurture? What if we need it so that when we bounce back up the bounce is so high we get incredible clarity and spread tons of love?  What if we need it to realize we really do feel best in service to others and so we spread tons of love and kindness when we are feeling good?  We give where we can give. We listen where we can listen. We are patient and understanding where we can be patient and understanding. And so on and so forth. 

I think those of us that are ultra-sensitive feel and absorb the energy of others, much more than less-sensitive people do. I think our downs are so down because we are feeling every else’s down. And, the truth is, we are born to love. We are born to live in joy. We are born to be different and to celebrate our differences and to create lives that please us; and most people on this planet do not do that. So we feel their sadness. Our sadness gets amplified because we are tuning into the sadness of close to eight billion people.
I think there needs to be more dialogue about depression. I think it needs to be normalized. I think there needs to be more messaging on listening to our hearts and doing the little tiny things that make our hearts sing. I think we should all nurture the child within us, the one that wants to stay home under a blanket watching movies or wants to eat only mac and cheese for dinner three nights in a row. I know that when I allow myself to indulge in these ways my body eventually craves exercise and healthy food. My body will tell me when I’ve had enough sofa time or junk food. I have learned that the less I force myself to do anything and the more I wait for inspired action, the better my work is. I have learned that when I allow myself to sleep and not greet the world on depressed days, I get five days worth of stuff done in one as soon as I feel better.
I don’t think life should be as difficult as we are taught it is. I don’t think we are as bad or as broken or as ugly or as messed up as the media and doctors and ministers and teachers would have us think we are. I think being human is incredibly messy and that we signed up to experience all of it. Don’t you want to say, when you are reviewing your life after you die, that you experienced all of it? The highs and the lows. The scary and the safe. Don’t you believe that only by feeling out of balance and depressed and foggy and confused can you know the incredible bliss that comes with clarity and feeling balanced and knowing who you are and what you want, even if it only comes in flashes?
I don’t think there really is bi-polar disorder. I think, as Abraham Hicks teaches, there is “aligned with Source and your own Higher Self” and “unaligned with Source and your own Higher Self.“ And that it make sense we would pop in and out of alignment as we navigate the turbulent waters of life on planet earth. And I think the more we honor who we truly are and what we truly need, especially us introverts and HSPs, we will feel better and better and better more of the time, and we will not feel so alone and freaked out when we don’t.