Trusting What Is

Dec 28, 2020 by Renee Linnell
Many spiritual leaders tell us that once we become Enlightened we will no longer feel sadness, pain, anger, suffering, despair; they tell us we will live in bliss always. I’m not 100% sure this is true, or possible. And I’m not 100% sure we would want this.
Yes, I have noticed that the more I let go of my attachments and rigid beliefs about “how things are,” the happier I am. And the more I meditate and tap into the Knowing that I am an Eternal Being of Light, the less upset I get about the world. But, even though I know the world is an illusion, and even though I know I am an Eternal Being of Light and that there is no death, that I can leave my body any time I want to and go back Home, I still experience hell mind states. I still get depressed. I still go through moods of “I hate the world” or “I hate humans.”
I suppose the difference is this: I know these moods are fleeting. I know I am not seeing clearly when I am in these moods. I know I am out of alignment. And I now have different strategies to get back into alignment.
But, I think that if we were able to float around in bliss all the time, we may not enjoy the bliss as much after awhile. I think we would want contrast. I think we would get bored. And I think we would not be able to relate at all to other humans.

They say The Buddha was Enlightened because he accepted the world exactly as it was. I aspire to this. As someone who sees Covid as a normal SARS/MERS virus that comes around every few years and is no more deadly than the seasonal flu, it has taken tremendous patience and self-work to not hate everyone who believes Covid is a deadly pandemic and that we all need to wear muzzles and stay inside until Big Pharma comes out with a vaccine to save us. I have had to constantly raise myself up out of the vibration of mass consciousness and remind myself this is all part of the Divine Plan and all is well.
As I dip into the fear of being completely controlled by the global elite I have to raise my vibration and remind myself that Light always wins and that those making billions off of this scheme will eventually be exposed. And I as my hatred for humans who are brainwashed takes over me, I have to stop and breathe and remind myself that I love my human brothers and sisters, even if they think radically differently than I do, and remind myself that I was brainwashed, too. And that clarity only comes with Grace, at Divine Timing.
I realize if I can be okay with this ordeal lasting as long as it needs to for massive shifts to occur, I can be okay with anything.
Scientists and Quantum Physicists are finally saying what Saints, Shamans, and Mystics have been saying for thousands of years: this world is an illusion, our thoughts create our reality, and therefore there are billions of simultaneous realities. Covid demonstrates this perfectly: some people have been living in a world where Covid is nothing to fear and have just been mad and annoyed for a year. Others have been living in a world where Covid is a deadly pandemic and they could die at any moment, for a year. Fear creates immune system break down which leads to illness. These people are living a self-fulfilling prophecy. It really is amazing to watch. You tell an elderly person she has the flu, and you watch her heal. You tell an elderly person she has the deadliest virus anyone has ever witnessed and you watch fear destroy her body. Our minds are that powerful. Fear is that destructive.

And all of this craziness leads me to keep asking myself: where can I upgrade my reality? Where am I still holding onto limiting beliefs? Where am I still playing small? What habits do I have that no longer serve me? Caroline Myss, in her life-changing book Anatomy of the Spirit says, “Habit is a hell to which people cling in an attempt to stop the flow of change.” I don’t want to play small. I don’t want to fear change. I no longer want to cling or hold on. I want to jump into the River of Life and say, “Take me wherever You want! I trust you! I know it will be magical and wonderful and so incredibly fun!” I don’t want to have regrets when I die. I don’t want to wish I lived more. So I pray, “Please God. Please show me where I am getting in my own way. Please show me where I am playing small. Please show me where I am resisting all the abundance you keep trying to serve me. I will move anywhere. I will do anything. Please show me. I am all Yours.”