Gifts From The Divine

Apr 26, 2021 by Renee Linnell
When you think someone you love is dead or is going to die, it really puts life in perspective. I suppose that’s why soldiers have such a hard time relating to civilians. The crap we complain about, the shit we take for granted, it’s mind boggling.

I had a dear friend of mine crash on a motorcycle yesterday, with no helmet. I was driving in front so I didn’t see the accident. Our friends driving behind said that he passed them, going too fast, and they came around a corner to see a cloud of dust, and the motorcycle crashed on the side of the road, our friend nowhere to be seen. They found him unconscious under the bike, covered in dirt, and in a ditch. He had to be air lifted to Denver, in critical condition. Skull fractures and a brain bleed.

I spent the night sure he was going to die. And as much as I tried to talk myself out of that fear, to replace it with an alternative scenario, one that went, I could get up in the morning to a text from him saying he is fine, my brain kept going to the he’s going to die in the helicopter scenario. Which made me not eat, and get terrible sleep; flood my system with adrenaline and cortisol, and wake up like a zombie. To a text from him that said he was going to be fine. Which is a miracle.

When Life hands us something like this, we must pay attention. These events are wake-up calls from the Soul. A huge wake-up call for my friend, but also one for all of us involved. They are opportunities that should not be missed. They are gifts from the Divine.

So, I have spent a foggy day contemplating the lessons I will take away from this. Here they are in no particular order:

1. I will never allow a friend to drive if s/he is intoxicated. Even slightly. Never. I don’t care how much the friend hates me, I don’t care if his/her vehicle has to be left in a place where it could get harmed or stolen, I don’t care how inconvenient retrieving the vehicle is the next day. I will never ever allow my loved ones to risk their lives (or the lives of others) in this way. He had been drinking. Not a ton, but enough that he should probably not have been driving. I have let “probably” slide in the past because people get so mad at me when I try to take their keys; I will not let “probably” slide ever again. An angry friend alive and safe in my car is so much better than a dead friend.

2. I love my friends. All of them. Even the ones who annoy me the most. Even the ones who are the most difficult. In fact, especially the ones who annoy me the most and are the most difficult. Because of being so sensitive and because of residual conditioning from being in the cult, I had developed a fear of being around people who drained me. Drama queens. Narcissists. Those who usurp all conversation, the non-stop talkers. I struggled with walking that line that has me loving them on one side and wanting to ban them from my life on the other. After last night I’m keeping all of them. I’m making myself and my energy center strong enough and large enough to no longer use them as my excuse to be out of alignment. Period. They all stay.
  
3. The power of the mind to dream a future that is positive or one that is negative, and the radically depleting effects on the body when one chooses negative. My friends that had found him said, “No broken bones, head wound, became conscious and started talking.” Our police officer friend said, “I talked to him at the hospital and he sounded great.” But, the nurse said, “Skull fractures, brain bleed, critical condition, air evacuation.” I had two choices: I could have stayed in the he will be fine mindset. I could have eaten a full dinner and slept 8 hours. But, my mind took me to, he is going to die in the helicopter. I am going to wake up to a text that says he’s dead. Or mentally impaired. With that train of thought, pulling me into a future I dreaded, I flooded my body with cortisol, I stressed out my adrenals, I tensed up my entire body so the blood did not flow well, I didn’t feed myself properly, and I could not sleep. I woke up feeling like I had been in the motorcycle crash. Depleted, exhausted, and achy all over. Totally fried. I wrecked havoc on my healthy body simply by the thoughts I chose. I would like to never do this to myself again.
 
4. Love and kindness. And gratitude. Everything takes me back to this. I want to give more than I take. Listen more than I talk. And slow down. Even more. Slow down to truly listen to the people talking to me, see the people in front of me, savor what is unfolding in this present moment. Nothing matters besides health and wellness and love. Our body is our most precious gift. We take our health and wellness for granted. We criticize these miraculous bodies all the time. We criticize one ounce of cellulite rather than marvel at the fact that we have all our limbs, both eyes, a face that is not broken. I want to never criticize my miraculous body again.
 
These are my takeaways. I’m sure more will come. But, these events do strip us back down to the most important elements: which to me are always, kindness, gratitude, and love.